You’ve gotta swim, swim for your life

Hi, this is your life.

 

There was a phase I went through when I thought there might be days I would wake up and say, “I don’t feel like writing today.” So far, this hasn’t held true. In the least.

 

I absolutely love writing, in any respect.

 

Tomorrow means a lot. In fact, I think it means a little too much for me. I am interviewing for an editor position at the Daily Orange at 8:20 p.m. If I don’t get the job, I can’t pretend I won’t be disappointed. It will be a hefty dose of disappointment, also. I want want want want want want this job! I wonder if there’s a bit of hubris on my part, though. I am sort of expecting to get it. But then, I also think, if I don’t get it, that the news team will be missing out big time. I have a lot to offer. I am confident in that. OK, I shouldn’t doubt my confidence, right? That would just get messy…

 

Winter is upon us here folk in Syracuse, NY. I like the snow and the cold actually. It’s not so bad. I like being busy. I hope the editor-in-chief at the DO realizes that I will devote everything to the paper to make it the best it can be. OK, somehow that just came out… lol. I guess I should save it for the interview.

 

I just have to study for human nature tonight, then I am pretty much done for the week. Aside from a fair share of errands I have to run before I leave for Thanksgiving break on Tuesday. The good thing is, I’m not missing my Monday and Tuesday classes like a lot of students do.

 

Thanksgiving beak will be BUSY busy busy for me. I have to look and apply for internships for the summer. Complete a hefty dose of reading for my ethnic conflict and religion class. Write drafts for both of those classes. Start studying for finals, since my two hardest ones are the earliest ones for me and also on the same day. Poo. I want to go to the library too and get a few books my ethnic conflict TA recommended me. I also want to read some Agatha Christie. I don’t know why, but I always feel like reading her when the holidays roll around.

 

I can’t wait to breathe a sigh of relief when December 12 rolls around and I am done with Fall semester! I will have all the time in the world to do pleasure reading (something I sincerely miss), hang out with the family and my cutey patootie nephew, see my friends, workout and hopefully lose all this excess weight I’ve managed to gain and SLEEP. The one thing that could make it better though, would be knowing that I secured the position as assistant news editor. I hope I didn’t just jinx myself somehow. I need to stop talking.

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations

As I sit in my booth at Pages, a girl my age asks if the booth next to me is open. “I believe so,” I said. She looks appreciative, “I’ve been waiting all night for a table to open up.” “Oh yes, it’s quite a competitive market,” I said and laughed. Then, an older man walks by with two little kids dressed in mini peacoats and holding his hands. He does a double take and sits down at the booth with the girl, gets out the kids coloring books and takes out his own textbooks. He’s working on a class project with the girl.

 

This is what I love about life. This is what I love about people. The strength and determination to overcome adversity and throw a wrench in the status quo. Sure, I don’t exactly know his situation. He could be babysitting for all I know. But I like to think he is a smart guy who didn’t pass up on his life goals because life threw enormous responsibility his way.

 

I’m an optimist. Never really used to be. But that has all changed in the past few months.

 

For example, I could be freaking that I have to write a paper that is due tomorrow on a 600 page book that I have yet to read and have no desire to read. Or, I could take out my laptop and brilliantly bullshit my way through it. Guess which one I’m doing? OK, probably not the best thing to pride myself on, but hey, I really have no time for reading of lengthy literature at college. And I bullshitted my last paper for this class and got an A-. Cause for concern? Hell no.

 

So, I’ve decided to up the ante for next week. Trying to churn out three articles for next week. Here’s me wishing myself luck, ’cause ain’t nobody else gonna. I really want to get a move on and raise the stakes in this journalism game. I need to stand out. My whole grade school, middle school and high school career I stood out and I don’t plan to stop at college. This is, of course, a bit ambitious, going from a class of 25 to a class of 3,000. But, that’s part of the fun, right? Damn, I really hope I don’t eat those words later.

 

I absolutely loved the weather today. It was nice and cold out, but not unbearable. There was such a light snow that it wouldn’t stick to anything, but it looked so pretty. Especially since leaves are still on the ground. I wanted to take pictures today, I’m not even the picture-taking kind of person. But, I had that urge as I was walking along Marshall Street.

 

 

I just spent my last LAST change on a caffeine fix. I am now officially OFFICIALLY broke. But, things could be worse.

Lately it’s hard to disconnect, I just want something real

Today was a somewhat non-memorable day. I had a geology exam this morning which went.. okay. I woke up early to study but fell back asleep. I decided to leave early so I would have time to study in the Quad. I sat on a cute little wooden bench under some fall foliage. It was a beautiful morning. Nice and crisp out. After my test it’s hard to recall what exactly I did with my day. I think I spent a lot of time laying around trying to decide whether or not I wanted to nap. Of which I didn’t, until 7 tonight. I made a couple of strides to try and go to the library, of which I didn’t.. until right now at 11 p.m. I went to Walmart and got a prescription filled and bought a pair of gray leggings which I was excited for but didn’t fit! Sad.

I was thinking that one of the things I could do with more, is actual experiences. Much of my days are routines of going to class, eating, doing homework, studying and interviewing. I want to get off campus, gosh darnit. I want to travel. I like being outside. Even now that it’s cold out, it’s nice to just sit outside.

Anyway, there really isn’t much to tell about my day. I’m at the library and will probably work on an article. Then head back to my room and watch Smallville and try to go to sleep at a decent hour so I can wake up for my 9:30 class tomorrow morning.

Oh, one thing that does stand out a bit about today was an exchange between my roommate and I this afternoon. I was babbling on about something inconsequential and she said, “Why are you so happy?” I was like, “Well, I don’t know. I just am.” She goes, “Yes, but at least I have a reason to be, I have a boyfriend.” I couldn’t help but smile at this comment. I said, “Well, you have every reason to be happy, but I have no reason to, isn’t that good in itself?”

The lead singer of Jack’s Mannequin. I’m addicted to this band right now. How cool must it be to be in a band? Look how into it he is. Must be an exciting life.

Writer’s crush

Muffins, while delicious, are too crumbly for my liking. I usually opt for the cranberry orange, but I grabbed a pumpkin muffin five minutes ago in Pages. Yummy. Far more crumbly than the former. My dinner tonight.

 

At my booth. Tonight: filling out a lengthy review sheet for my geology exam on Thursday. The article I’m working on is in need of one more source so I think that will be done by tomorrow. This week got off to a rocky start, what with me feeling a bit off for some reason, but it’s shaping up nicely. I’m in the mood for a bit of spontaneity today. I hope that befalls me soon. I get very caught up in the rigorous planning of my days and weeks, so I sort of feel like going out and dancing in a crowd of people I don’t know. I want to get off campus.

 

Today is showing the first signs of what’s to come for us Syracuse U students. Somehow when I remember all my good memories from last year, they do not involve trudging 15 minutes in snow blizzards. So, not looking forward to that. Though I do think it will bother me less this year. It certainly makes a trooper out of everyone. It was drizzly all day.

 

 

Rain is cool.

 

Also, I’m in love with a fellow Newhouse/poli sci major and writer. I’ll just say I am definitely in the early stages of stalker mode. Hah. I kid. Maybeee.

Alone in a melee

Can you guess where I am?

 

Before I get started studying, I feel like clearing my head. I haven’t been able to at all today. Today has been an “off” day, if you will. I can usually handle stress with some degree of productivity, but today I’m not sure what it is that is affecting me. At first I thought it was lack of sleep, then I thought it was lack of food in my system. I felt as if I was suffering from delusion or having a bout of vertigo. Anyway, work can’t wait for me to get over it, so, no use in analyzing it.

 

I was just thinking that while seclusion can be depressing, that it is actually essential to my existence most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I like being around people – at times. Well, I should use an example.

 

I’ve become addicted to my respites at the library each day. I come in with my life, sit at a comfortable booth in a crowded library by myself and just organize my life, get my head together and get massive amounts of work done. I’m usually here for a majority of the night. So, my roommate had to study today so she joined me here, but we ended up traversing over to a smaller booth with one outlet too far away from me and right as I sit down two of her friends join us. Whatever, small beans. But, now I can’t get in the right frame of mind. I don’t mind her friends being here or whatever. But, I think it sort of proves that a little alone time is best for me. Maybe I’m a weird one, but I’m not about to worry about my quirks. That’s me. So.. yeah.

 

Alright, time to read.

Wednesday

Wishing I could wake up chipper this morning. However, an ethnic conflict midterm that is gearing to kick your ass is not exactly something one looks forward to. Particularly because I haven’t studied or read any of the assignments for this class. Yeah.

 

On a less depressing note, I go home in two days. Ahh, two sweet days. Except that two days at college can be the equivalent of two weeks elsewhere.

 

I just decided I am against the whole concept of midterms.